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This article was posted on Tuesday, July 8, 2008
TRAINING- WHEEL TO BREAK WRONG BEHAVIORS
Lord, I desire to be free from the wrong behaviors hindering my life, my health, my witness and my work for You. These behaviors are sin, but they are not the source of the problem in me- they are but the symptoms. I’m tired of trying to overcome these symptoms, trying to get victory over them, trying to understand and deal with them only to have them return again and again. I want to sever the root and expose the source of these behaviors to You, clear down to the hair roots.
Jesus, so many things have happened in my life that I have believed were responsible for my shortcomings. I loose that lie right now. I have been responsible for some things, but not responsible for all of them. These are the ones that I have the most trouble with, Jesus, the traumatic things I had no choice in at the time. But, right now, I am going to exercise my choice to be set free from any and all influences from past experiences in my life. Empower me to receive the fullness of your grace and love to uncover the layers of self-protection that I’ve laid down over all of these unresolved issues. I don’t want to hold on to the pain, confusion, doubt, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and hatred that just keeps boiling up out of them. I want them all gone.
I don’t want to manifest these wrong behaviors in my life anymore. Lord, I confess that many of the behaviors have been my own self-centered attempts to pacify and take the edge of my deeper hurts and needs. But it’s not working! Forgive me for ever listening to my proud unsurrendered, stubborn soulish nature, and believing that I could find something or someone who could fix me.
I loose every wall, every stronghold, every word curse that I or anyone else has ever spoken over my life. I loose every layer and attempt of my soul to protect, hide, or fulfill my needs. I know now that no one can ever fix me at my deepest level of pain and need except You. AS I strip away the efforts of my own will to keep You out of the places where even I am afraid to go, please make me whole to you.
Teach me Holy Spirit, to recognize the agendas of my soul, to identify soulish attempts to bury the sources of my anger and resentment. Teach me to recognize my own self-attempts to manipulate others to ensure my own personal damage control. I choose to turn to You for strength, for mercy, for healing, and for deliverance from the dregs and residue of my old ways. I choose to reach out for the peace that only Jesus can give to me, for it is the only way to overcome the confusion and torment that I have tried to drown with alcohol, food, drugs and wrong relationships. I choose to now face the fact that my own attempts to anesthetize and block out the pain and confusion have only kept You out. I need You in my deepest parts, Lord.
I need your healing love – I choose your guidance and direction- and I loose all wrong beliefs and attitudes I’ve ever learned from the world that would turn me from seeking You. I commit all that I am and all that I am not, Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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